I spoke with Marifel on Episode 36 of DEAD Talks who doesn't consider herself a death doula but that is definitely the closest description regarding her closeness with death.
Marifel is a space holder and a guide for breath and death. In this episode she explains how she was exposed to death as a respiratory nurse which lead her down a path for studying death and being their for people and families going through it.
My understanding of a death doula was limited prior to this conversation. If you were to google (or, DuckDuckGo) the definition of what a Death Doula is, this is what you'll find: "death doulas, or end-of-life doulas, are there to help you transition out of this world. We spoke with two to find out why they’re gaining in popularity."
The key words that resonates with me regarding the dialogue you'll hear in Episode 36 of DEAD Talks is she is a "space holder". It is really what the person tells her and not so much what she tells them. Being a space holder applies to anyone whether you're a death doula, a friend or a family member and I feel that applies to so many aspects of life. The importance of just BEING THERE. We tend to focus on what to say to someone grieving and often that commences with the "I'm sorry." Which is a very polite thing to say and there's nothing wrong with that. I myself say that often but have tried to limit that and just put an arm around them to let them know.."I'm here".
I learned from Marifel the importance of just holding space and being there for people whether it be death or it just be life. It's interesting to hear what she's learned through courses and first hand experiences. The blend of both I think are very beneficial to listen to in this episode for those interested in the topic, for those mourning and for those that don't know how to be there for someone grieving a trauma.
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